Greenest man in America

Old Miser's Winter Bed

I'm guessing that I have the smallest carbon footprint and the greenest lifestyle in America. It isn't because I'm worried about Global Warming or anything like that. I'm too cheap to do anything that harms the environment. The illustration is of my winter bed.

It gets cold here in Nebraska, and I'm too tight to turn up the propane furnace past 56-57 degrees F. At night, it goes down even farther. I've spent many years sleeping in cold bedrooms to save a buck, but my latest addition, a $15 tent, is going to save me even more money while increasing my relative comfort.

Now I can turn the thermostat down at night to where the houseplants die, the mice move out and the water pipes nearly freeze. I'm sleeping in comfort because this cheap tent keeps the heat I give off from burning food concentrated close by. I'm glad now that I didn't contract for my usual amount of propane this winter.
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Another part of my winter regimen: No paid-for heat goes out of the house if I can help it. One of the ways I do this is to use discharge hoses for non-septic waste water. I don't put it down the drain because that could cause me to need costly septic-tank pumping. If it is hot water from my shower, washing dishes, or laundry, I keep the water in the house until it has relinquished its heat to the air.
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I should have gotten the Nobel Peace prize instead of that spendthrift wastrel Al Gore.